Creating your family culture

Insights from my family culture to help you think about how you create yours.

Whenever a bunch of humans hang out for a period of time, they create a culture of norms — ways of behaving that are expected and desired.

When I found myself saying the pretty much the same thing three times in three different family situations, I got thinking about our family’s culture.

What sort of culture were we creating?

How much of this was deliberate and not?

What does it mean for our futures — the kids’ and ours?

The thing I found myself repeating was ‘put yourself in positions where you can play to your strengths’. It’s something I didn’t discover until later in life and would have loved to have known sooner, hopefully my kids will take it on board.

Other things we’ve deliberately made part of our family culture are:

• Go out of your way to be kind and look out for others
• Be open and honest
• No one rests until all the jobs are done and everyone can rest (for things that we’ve all been part of like after a meal, or unpacking the car)
• Life is better if you have at least one book on the go
• Take opportunities to play

And they’ve added some into the mix:

• There’s always time stop to stroke a cat, no matter how much of a rush you are in
• Everything can be climbed (as in, if you look, you’ll find something in your environment to play with/on/over/through)

What kind of culture does your family have?

I used to be an angry, impatient dad. I’ve spent ten years researching and experimenting on how to be a more patient parent.

I’ve distilled what works into a book. The Patient Parent is a short, practical book for busy parents who want to make the most of the precious time with their kids before they grow up.

If that’s you, why not give the book a go?